January


It's been a strange January 
in so many ways.
Many more warm days, than cold ones.
Trees and flowers are already waking up...
making it look more like April.
Definitely fighting a case of Spring Fever.


Even warm enough to play some
after-dinner basketball.
(now that Jake's basketball season has ended)


Definitely a time of adjusting for me.
After 20-something years of raising kids...and
seriously NO alone time..
I find myself at home alone quite often now.
I must admit it's not quite the "party" that i used to dream
it would be! But i do love being at home.
For the first time...maybe ever...i am able to just...
Be Still.
I certainly don't mean physically not moving...
just being more quiet in my heart.
Asking hard questions...seeking, waiting, searching, listening.


The biggest thing i am learning is just how much of
a total mess i am.  Somehow i thought that by this age 
i would be a lot wiser and a lot less in need of so much grace and mercy.
WRONG.


The more i learn about myself....the more i realize just HOW MUCH
grace i need.


"Our dire need for God's grace doesn't get smaller after God saves us...in one sense, it actually gets bigger.  Many Christians think that becoming sanctified means that we become stronger and stronger, more and more competent. ... The truth is, however, that Christian growth and progress involves coming to the realization of just how weak and incompetent we continue to be and how strong and competent Jesus continues to be for us." "Christian growth involves believing and embracing the fact that, even as a Christian, you're worse than you think you are but that God's grace toward you in Christ is much bigger than you could ever imagine."
Tullian Tchividian