It’s either take captive every thought or be taken captive. When you realize life is war, you make prayer a shield and Christ your general and the victory is found in grace.
~Ann Voskamp

I realize the importance of "taking every thought captive" 
i have seen what happens when i don't
some days i am quite the "captor"
but most days i find myself fleeing captivity.
mostly out of fear...
or is it a lack of trusting?
when you know "right" but everything
in you feels something different...
what if "taking every thought captive"...makes you feel like you have
been taken captive??
Life really is war...
war between trust and death
how is Grace the answer??

Grace...not getting what i deserve. grace can be defined as the love and mercy given to us by God because God wants us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it.

well that's not a problem...
i certainly haven't done anything to earn it...
maybe i also have a hard time accepting it...
a free gift.

i know that Christianity is unique b/c
it's not..."i obey therefore i'm accepted"
it is
"i'm accepted therefore i obey"

what if i don't always obey?
does that mean i don't believe that i'm accepted? 
This is my current "war" that is 
relentless in my head.

maybe this is where Grace comes in?
when i deserve death b/c i am incapable of obedience
God gives the Grace for times like these?

Can i pray for Him to change my heart...
when i might not feel like i want it changed?

I do believe that He knows what is best for me...
can i trust that?
can i obey...with out question?